inconstantly | contact;

are you calling me a drunk?

Does the shoe fit, Detective?

wouldn't know

haven't bought a new pair of shoes in years

Well, maybe you just you wash your clothes in whiskey. It's an odd choice, but I try not to judge.

i have known you for how long

a week? let's say a week

and it's enough to say with a certainty that you not judging people is the largest pile of shit i've encountered in a long time

The man caught stealing holy water from a church does not get to complain about being judged.

[ guess you hit a little too accurately there, John ]

that water is for everyone, no theft about it

if you're going to accuse me of something at least be accurate

You were filling up bottles, it was inappropriate and you knew that. Don't try to hide behind split hairs.

i revel in my impropriety

you should try it sometime

I'm improper often enough, I don't think I need to extend it into church.

Speaking of, I made your excuses to Father Lantom, but next time he wants to speak to you personally.

i'd be more than happy to speak with your priest

he might have some jobs for me

contract exorcist

I think he might be a little too rational and responsible to hire you.

And to my knowledge, the Catholic Church doesn't exactly approve of laypeople performing exorcisms.

how were you more fun when you were talking to a dead person

Maybe I was trying to humor the crazy holy water thief.

Sorry, holy water thieving Master of the Dark Arts.

there's that cheek i remember

i was beginning to wonder if you replaced it with a stick lodged somewhere i don't care to mention

Mr. Constantine, I am shocked.

There's actually something you're reluctant to mention?

did you really want me to say anus

You were just waiting for me to give you an opening on that, weren't you?

listen to yourself mate

anus

opening

for a lawyer you really need to be better about word choice

I work in courtrooms, not comedy clubs.

And I'm beginning to consider rescinding my pound cake offer.

there's no cause for something so drastic

Maybe not. You never did answer my question about the whiskey, though.

yes you smelled correctly and no i don't bathe myself or my clothes in it

I genuinely appreciate your candor. Cake and whiskey is back on.

And maybe by then I'll have something else for you.

Information, John. The something else is information.

for a man of faith you have surprisingly little in me

(no subject)

murdocksboy - 2018-04-06 04:21 (UTC) - Expand